What’s the Point of Shibari If I’m Not Into Pain?

A question I get all the time—especially from curious beginners dipping their toes into rope play—is this:

“I’m not into pain... so is rope even for me?”

And let me tell you: YES. Absolutely. 1000% yes.

The idea that Shibari (Japanese rope bondage) is only for masochists, pain lovers, or hardcore kinksters is one of the biggest myths keeping people from discovering the magic of rope. Truth is, rope is a tool, not a prescription. It can be sharp or soft. Still or playful. Erotic or meditative. The rope doesn’t define the experience—you do.

So… What Is the Point of Rope Then?

At its core, rope is about sensation, presence, and connection.

Whether you’re tying yourself or being tied by a partner, rope has a unique way of pulling you into your body. The slow drag of jute across skin. The compression that says “you’re held.” The invitation to breathe, feel, and let go. That’s the gold.

You can tie with rope the same way you might use a weighted blanket or a meditation bell. It can be comforting. Grounding. Even spiritual. Some of the most powerful sessions I’ve had involved zero pain—just deep pressure, slowness, and presence.

What If I Want to Try Rope… But Don’t Want It to Hurt?

Perfect. You’re my people. There’s a whole world of rope that focuses on:

• Nurturing holds (think: swaddling, wrapping, cradling)

• Psychological tension (being exposed or vulnerable without discomfort)

• Body awareness (feeling your own edges, breath, and energy shift)

• Trust building with a partner or with yourself

Pain doesn’t have to be part of it—unless you want it to be.

In my NawaFoundations course, I teach rope from the ground up in a kink-neutral way. That means no scary dungeon vibes, no pressure to perform, and no pain necessary. Just clear, confidence-building technique that works whether you’re tying a partner or exploring solo.

Rope Is an Invitation, Not a Demand

You don’t have to be “kinky enough” or “into pain” to explore rope. You just have to be curious.

Some of my students use rope to reconnect to their bodies after trauma. Some use it to soften control and let themselves be cared for. Others find it wildly erotic, even without impact or pain. And for many—it’s just plain fun.

If you’re craving more creativity, sensuality, or stillness in your intimacy, rope might be the exact tool you didn’t know you needed.

Ready to Try It, Your Way?

If you're curious but cautious, start here:

→ NawaFoundations – my beginner-friendly rope course with over 6 hours of step-by-step videos, taught in a neutral, supportive format

→ Empowered Submission Academy – if you’re also exploring submission and want a structure that supports both safety and freedom

→ Or check out my free masterclass, From Curious to Confident, to learn more about how to start your journey with intention and clarity

Rope isn’t just about what happens to you, it’s about what opens within you.

And you get to define the terms. Thank you for letting me share that with you. 

xoxo - Julieta