BDSM 101: What Do Those Letters Even Mean?

Let’s be honest, babe. You’ve seen the acronym. Maybe in a steamy caption. Maybe in a dating app bio. Maybe whispered at a play party that had better snacks than your last family dinner. But what the hell does BDSM actually mean—and how does it work in real life?

Welcome to your no-fluff, no-shame, actually helpful breakdown.

First Things First: What Does BDSM Stand For?

BDSM is an umbrella term. It actually packs three pairings into one acronym:

• Bondage and Discipline

• Dominance and Submission

• Sadism and Masochism

That might sound intense, but here’s the truth: you get to play with any piece of this that excites you. You don’t have to like pain to be kinky. You don’t have to live in a 24/7 dynamic to explore D/s. BDSM is like a buffet—you sample what you want.

Let’s break it down even further.

Bondage & Discipline: The Structure Lovers

Bondage is the act of restraining someone. This could mean rope, cuffs, scarves, or simply using your body to pin someone in place. It can be gentle and nurturing or intense and immobilizing. For a lot of people, bondage isn’t about being trapped—it’s about being held.

Discipline refers to rules, protocols, or punishments designed to reinforce a dynamic. Think rituals, corrective actions, posture training, or rewards. For some, this scratches the itch of obedience, order, or erotic structure.

If you’re the kind of person who finds comfort in knowing what’s expected of you and feels turned on by following (or breaking) the rules, this might be your playground.

Want to learn rope play that feels empowering, safe, and hot? Check out my beginner-friendly rope course, NawaFoundations.

Dominance & Submission: The Power Exchange

This is the heart of most BDSM exploration. D/s is about intentionally exchanging power. One person leads, guides, and holds authority. The other offers their submission—whether through obedience, service, expression, or surrender.

And no, it’s not about control in the toxic sense. A good D/s dynamic is based on deep trust, constant communication, and mutual respect. It’s about knowing where your edges are and choosing to hand them over, or take responsibility for them.

This can be:

• A long-term relationship dynamic

• A temporary agreement during a scene

• Full of rules and rituals—or completely fluid

There is no one way to do D/s. But if you’ve ever wanted to feel safe in surrender or powerful in your leadership, this is the doorway.

I teach this in depth inside Empowered Submission Academy—the go-to course for women who want to feel confident in their submission.

Sadism & Masochism: The Sensation Seekers

Sadism is finding erotic pleasure in giving pain.

Masochism is finding erotic pleasure in receiving pain.

This can be physical (spanking, scratching, flogging) or emotional (humiliation, denial, degradation), and when done with care, can be unbelievably intimate. Pain, when consensual, becomes a communication tool. It’s a language. It’s a feeling that brings you into your body in an unforgettable way.

But babe, let me be clear: this isn’t abuse. It’s about informed consent, enthusiastic participation, and respecting limits. No one is here to hurt anyone who hasn’t asked for it—lovingly and explicitly.

Want to explore your spicy edges? My Surrender Series is a great place to start.

So… How Do You Actually Start?

This world can be intimidating from the outside. But trust me, you don’t need a latex catsuit or a Dom off Craigslist to begin.

Start by:

• Getting honest about what turns you on

• Exploring fantasies in writing or solo play

• Talking with partners about curiosity, not performance

• Learning real tools from trusted kink educators

BDSM isn’t something you master overnight. It’s something you build, scene by scene, conversation by conversation.

The good news? You don’t have to figure it out alone.

Want More?

You’ve got options, babe.

• 🎓 Free Masterclass – From Curious to Confident: Your entry point into this world

• 🔥 Empowered Submission Academy: The A to Z of making submission real, empowered, and embodied

• 🧵 NawaFoundations: Learn the art of rope in a shame-free, welcoming space

• 🎧 Surrender Series: A mini audio bundle to jumpstart your surrender

No matter where you’re starting from, your curiosity is valid. Your desire is welcome. And your kink journey gets to be exactly what you want it to be.

Let’s make it real.