3 Easy Ways to Try KinkDec 05, 2023
After my last post on how to introduce kink to vanilla partners, I had an overwhelming response in messages on people who are vanilla, but would love to try out kink. As said by my husband in our interview, the biggest reservation that he had about kink was that he simply was naïve to it. From an outside perspective what you think of kink, you may think of chains and whips and very intense things- which can definitely happen in the world of kink, but there are so many other options to try especially when you’re a beginner. Another cool thing is just because you’re a beginner, doesn’t mean that these are going to be good options for you in the long run.
I would say in short , doing anything Kink is toying one of your senses. This could be things like touch, sight, scent, hearing, pain, stimulation. It also involves many aspects of power-play, usually with a dominant and submissive (control, humiliation, domination). This could be really fun to have a dominant or submissive, because it helps build trust and of course build mystery into the actual experience.
I know if you’re a beginner this may sound kind of scary to you, but it’s really not. To give you an example, you may be used to having your normal vanilla sex. You know that every three nights you’re going to have sex at 7 PM, and you’re going to have missionary and maybe a couple other positions until you both (hopefully) climax, and then you’re done. Although this can be very satisfying, it could also be very repetitive. This is why people resort to trying new things in bed and usually they involve trying a kink.
Now take this new scenario, you come home and your partner unexpectedly tells you that you’re going to the bedroom to have some fun. Assuming you let your partner take the dominant role, he/she lead you to the bedroom and tells you to take your clothes off. Before you know it, your partner instructs you to close your eyes and they blindfold you, and tell you exactly what instructions to follow with your body.
They have taken away one of your senses, and there is excitement in not knowing what they are going to do to you. It is up to you to focus purely on the feeling of what your partner is doing to you and what is to come. This adds an incredible element of excitement, arousal, and of course something new. Here are a few simple yet incredibly fun ways to try out some light kink!
Consent & Boundaries
So, you've got your mind wandering into the world of kinks and exploring some new experiences—awesome! But before diving into the wild stuff, let's talk about the crucial groundwork: consent and boundaries. Picture it like the foundation of a cool house you're about to build. Chatting about what's okay and what's off-limits is the cornerstone of any kink journey. It's like having a guidebook to make sure everyone's on the same page, comfortable, and having a blast. Set aside some time to have an open convo—no judgment zone—where you both get to voice desires, limits, and any concerns.
Trust me, this talk not only builds trust but also makes everything that comes after feel even more thrilling and safe. So, get those communication skills on point, and let the kinky adventures begin! (PS, my consent workshop replays are a huge help in this department).
As mentioned above, blindfolding can be incredibly sexy since you’re leaving the sexual experience up to your partner, and have to rely on your other senses. There is sexy mystery in not knowing what wonderful thing your partner is going to do, how they are going to touch you, and this truly lets you surrender into pleasure. Since touch is heightened with blindfolding, I recommend pairing it with temperature play- a cold crystal wand or toy with fire up your ladies arousal.
This is a prelude to types of bondage, and an extremely fun way to explore having a dominant/ submissive role. I like to see cuffs as a giving tool- if you’re locking your partner up, you’re about to give, give, give and make sure they are satisfied. I recommend getting leather wrist cuffs, since actual metal cuffs can really damage your wrists. Want an even hotter and more flexible way to try bondage? Cuff your partners hand with a pair of panties! Flexible yet effective.
Spanking would be a good start before investing in a leather play crop, paddle, or the experienced couples whip. Spanking is a very light form of Pain play- although it doesn’t need to be painful. Believe it or not, pain play does release endorphins and adrenaline, which adds to the sexual experience. T. A firm spank to the side of the butt cheek will do the trick if you’re a beginner- don’t get slap happy since you can actually break skin!
4. Temperature play
Temperature play is a fun concept that you should definitely add with any of the above. This involves playing with hot and cold to heighten your arousal. A good DYI is to actually incorporate an ice cube during foreplay- especially for women. Have your partner trace the ice cube around your sensitive areas with their mouth or simply with their hands. I recommend the inner thighs, breasts, and neck. If you want to try heat, You can drip wax (There are specific candles made for this. Do not buy a candle at Walmart and drip it on your naked body).
These are incredible beginners options into kink, and can be incorporated into your sex life to have an absolutely ecstatic time. There is no need to go further than what you feel comfortable with, and these methods will take you to a next level.
Remember to always talk about new sexual acts with your partner first before commencing, kink is not meant to be a surprise without consent. Alright my vanilla beans, keep me updated on the new things you try with your partner and always reach out if you need more ideas!