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THC Lube: An Orgasmic Blooper

As a sex blogger and avid cannabis user, I have been DYING to get my hands on THC lubricant. That statement in itself is not as easy as it sounds, considering it’s pretty much illegal in most places (or stupid expensive).

While many places have legalized cannabis, they haven’t legalized topicals (which would constitute lubricant). Up until now, I have been using CBD Lubricant with AMAZING results for my vaginal comfort and orgasmic response.

I have heard the magical fairy tales of THC lubricant, perhaps the “Holy Grail” of orgasmic response. I have even been warned that orgasms may never be the same- but I’ll be the judge of that, considering I have one of the world’s most judgmental pussy's.

The Lube

I am so thankful to be back in Barcelona where I feel in my ambience, but also incredibly close to my cannabis club. Although my cannabis club doesn’t sell THC lubricant, it still gives people access to the tools. I had a dear friend of mine come over for a party at my place, in which she pulled me aside and told me she had a gift for me.

To my surprise, she pulled out a vile filled with what looked like glittery, thick liquid: and I finally understood it. The beauty, the mystique, the rare white buffalo: the THC LUBE. This is definitely a homemade vile of lubricant, meaning that it had no branding, and no listed ingredients or THC concentration, yada- just the pure element of adventure and wonder.

Although it was incredibly tempting to put some in my mouth or ditch the party altogether to go masturbate, I decided to wait it out.


I recently received the new plug in Le Wand Massager from my friend and idol, Alicia Sinclair. Clearly if Im going to try one of the world’s best products, it should be with THC lubricant. I decided to do the full double whammy of stimulation, throwing in the NJoy Pure Wand for G spot stimulation. Now, is it easy using both products at the same time? No, but the orgasms you get will beat any potential arm cramp.

I took the vile of lubricant and dripped it all over my vulva, and then refilled it and inserted straight inside of me (this wasn’t smart, I’ll get to that later). I applied as much as I could internally so I could observe it’s effects on my vaginal tissues, which have been tender lately. Whenever I travel too much alongside added stress, my vagina doesn’t want to comply to comfortability- and that’s where cannabis comes in. It’s the antidote to tissue inflammation, and helps reignite your sexual response: apparently on steroids when it’s with THC.

I always wait at least 20 minutes to let the effects set in- and by minute 10 THEY WERE IN.

I could feel the most gentle tingling of my clitoris, and a vibrational feeling around my vaginal opening. Getting my toys in both hands, it was my time to fucking shine: I put a film on my laptop next to me, placed Le Wand against my clitoris, and then gently inserted the NJoy Pure Wand and gave it a rocking, upward motion against my G - Spot. You know that meme that says if you touch the G spot and Clitoris at the same time you take a screenshot? Well with these toys you do, but of your orgasm face.

This sensation was unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life. I actually wasn’t quick to have an orgasm, but it felt like I was edging one the entire time which made the experience long and enjoyable. I felt like the brink of orgasm was dangerously near, and when I finally came my eyesight went black: I saw stars, fireworks, sparkles. My legs, which were bent, gave out like a wet noodle and the rest of my body went into an orgasmic spasm.

Lord Have Mercy

When I finally caught my breath, I went in for more. I touched the wand down on my clitoris again and not even a second later was cumming again: What the fuck is going on? This same, orgasmic cycle continued for another 20 minutes.

My own natural lubrication kicked in the entire time, and at this point I was dripping: the sheets would definitely need to be changed. I could feel my vulva and the fullness it had from an intense amount of blood flow, even a wisp of air could be felt to it’s fullest extent. The NJoy Pure Wand felt slick and comfortable, with absolutely no pain to be had.

Where I fucked it all up

After I ended my session, it had made for about an hour past applying the lubricant. I laid in bed a bit dizzy, thinking I just came too hard too many times, and needed a moment to center myself: I WAS SO VERY WRONG. I tried to get up to get water, and it all hit me. Like a slap in the face, I viciously fell back down into my bed, and my body felt like it was 500 lbs. I finally connected the dots… I was horrendously stoned. It would only be comparable to the incapacitating body high you would get from eating an edible that was way too strong for you.

I missed the clear signs.

When you learn about drugs, you learn quick on that if you want drugs to hit you harder and faster, you ingest them through a mucous membrane. This would be the reason some people snort things, or even put things in their rectum. Your vagina is a mucous membrane non the less, and I put a massive vile worth of strong THC oil straight into it. Without thinking clearly, I had basically drugged myself via a mucous membrane and became incredibly intoxicated once I got off my high masturbation train.

My body struggled to move, and I laid in bed like a naked starfish with my mouth dryer than the Sahara, wishing I had some munchies. I eventually found sleep after what felt like hours of my body levitating into an abyss.

Be cautious

There is absolutely no doubt that this was the best orgasmic experience of my life. If the universe could give you orgasms, this was to its fullest extent.

But, I did it irresponsibly. I used lubricant that wasn’t regulated, wasn’t told amounts, and also applied it internally when I’m sure it was meant to be a lighter topical. With internal application, I am certain I applied triple if not more of the recommended amount.

If you wish to explore THC lubricant, do your research! Find where it is legal, for purchase, and made by a regulated lab: Let me save you the twisted experience from my own orgasmic suffering.

Until next time my beauties.

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