• Julieta Chiara

Stress, Sex & Touch.

I think one of my best and worst qualities is the ability to multitask, and try to handle multiple projects at once. This is great because I get a lot done, but its also a negative thing since I tend to spread myself thin. I want to believe I’m a boss bitch and can handle full time work, school, doing amazing in the gym, doing side projects, reading books, possibility of buying a home, etc.


I won’t lie to you guys, Im tired. I’m Human. Im not always a professional orgasm queen.

Through all the stresses, combined with trying to do everything at once- it seems my motivation for anything, including sex, is doomed. All your stress, worries, frustrations, anxieties- they manifest into your physical body through tension, hormone disruption, aches and pains, sexual disfunction, ect. On top of feeling physically exhausted, you mentally can't do it. I become very sensitive, aggressive, and annoyed by practically everything. Now, being a raging bitch is one thing- but being a sex deprived raging bitch is even worse.


My husband is my exact opposite- he is relaxed, thinks about one thing at a time, and doesn’t let stressors add up on him. He can sit in a ring of fire and not bat an eye, while I run around him in circles like a chicken with my head cut off. He can put up with my strong personality, and even stronger attitudes. I can't count how many times I have told my husband to fuck off, and he still loves me- a true universal miracle. We are indeed a true yin and yang- and he has been my rock. We have amazing sexual chemistry, our sex is satisfying, he absolutely does everything I love and can bring me to orgasm- but sometimes I’m just not feeling it. In fact, I am truly guilty of reflecting my stress on my relationship- it happens.

As mentioned in my previous post on upping your sex drive, stress can physically kill your orgasm-

thats right, it can literally stunt your genitals so you feel nothing. If you’re not mentally relaxed and into it, your body isn’t ready for it either. I like to call stress the OG boner and orgasm killer. Now that my friends, is a really fucked up paradox. Pardon my brash language, but I just need to be real with you guys.  You go to masturbate in order to orgasm and relieve some stress, only to be met with a numb vagina or penis, and a almost unfelt orgasm that makes you want to throw your vibrator at the wall. You try having sex, and you’re met with your vagina not doing her job- you can’t self lubricate, you don’t feel any sensation, and you’re just getting cervix poked the whole time- and no one likes a bruised cervix. On the flip side as a male, no matter what you do you cannot maintain an erection, let alone get one- and that can be really harsh on you.The whole time you're trying to masturbate or have sex, you keep thinking about all the shit you gotta do- all the things you might put before your pleasure. Beyond sex, now you're stressed that your sex life isn't up to par, and you're mad at your vagina or penis for not helping you out- my oh my.

Really Though

Okay, I apologize for the above rant, but someone had to say it. I am no where near perfect, I let stress consume me the same way I consume Talenti ice cream- stone cold, and by the pints. Outside stress can really stifle our love, relationships, health and sex drives of course. What are some things we can work on together with our partners, and with ourselves?

Watch yo-self

This is really my biggest downfall as a person- I am very bad at projecting my stress onto other people who are around me. Since I live with my husband, he really can take a beating when it comes to this. I am not perfect, and I have a very very low tolerance for stress. My honey is usually the key to relieving my stress, but sometimes I can't help but come home and accidentally bring some baggage with me. My number one way to try to combat this, is to take some silent time. I will straight up tell my husband that I had a bad day or that I am heated, and do not feel like talking- that I just need some silence. This can be hard because my husband likes to talk things out- but I prefer to cool down and not explode at the only person who can bear to hear it. I find it effective to also leave work, at work- its oh so easy for us to come home and unload all the shit things that happened to us on each other. My active goal is to truly be more mindful about what I project to my partner, and to not be so impulsive with my words.

Get your bod under control

There is nothing to make stress worse like a shit diet, no exercise, not healing from an injury, lack of sleep, and trying to keep up the pace when you are sick. If you participate in any of the above, no wonder your sex drive is lacking. All the above will 100% contribute to you feeling sluggish and tired. No amount of coffee can fix your poor decisions- take action on that. I maintain my diet to be 90% clean foods- an abundance of fruits, vegetables, proteins, healthy fats, and complex carbs. I keep drinking and junk food to a minimum, indulging here and there (and when I do indulge, I feel like shit- go figure). Even if you don't have time to hit the gym, which sometimes I don't, I take a 15 min. walk around my apartment complex or simply stretch on a yoga mat. Never, ever compromis