• Julieta Chiara

#open: a NEW WAY TO CONNECT

THE MODERN ERA


Young, non-monogamous, and ready to play- sounds easy right? I have stepped into the non-monogamous space for the past year of my life, and realized quickly I have been missing out on the world’s wonders. Under the blanket of monogamy, you may feel the need to mold to one partner’s needs- when in reality, you could have a variety of partners that each have wonderful things to offer. To expect one person to fulfill every need is a bit… tasking.


My partners and I have amazing, open communication that has no bounds. We see other people, and congratulate each other for milestones we may hit with other partners. I feel very free, and able to be who I am- something that used to be hidden in my past monogamous life. I have been fortunate enough to have plenty of partners, who have all been sourced from my local circle of friends and new friends I make along the way. But dating? Well, I have only been on one date in the past 5 years. One night stand or casual one time hookup? I’ve had one in my life.


The Dating Scene Can Be Daunting


It’s 2019- a good and a bad thing. Good, because expressing my sexuality and preferences is becoming much more open, but bad because I don’t always have the quick resources for it. While my partners are usually my friends, I have found that even my shy self would like to venture out for a bit of casual fun. As someone who constantly travels and has very specific sexual requirements, I see most “dating” resources as inconvenient and incredibly daunting.



My first night in Barcelona, I created a Tinder and Bumble in hopes of finding casual fun or excitement, but was met with incredible disappointment. The experience was astoundingly underwhelming and frustrating. You really can’t tell anything about someone when seeing one photo of them on a screen, and the conversations to initiate any contact felt like pulling teeth. Since I am kinky, I think it’s also important to try to vet potential partners for your safety and hopefully have the best experience. Open communication to try and vet your potential partner? Forget about it. It felt like a lost cause, and I quickly gave up after one night.


Connection on the most basic level is necessary to be able to communicate your intentions and boundaries even for string-free fun.


Meeting #open


Finding myself running through a sea of people at the Brooklyn Sex Expo, my dear friend Jean from SDC was taking me around to meet innovative and like-minded folks. When we stopped at #open’s booth, I was a bit star struck to see one of the industries best sex educators, Dirty Lola, greeting with a bright smile. I hadn’t heard of #open, and was quick to meet one of the co-founders, Amanda Wilson, who explained the mission behind this new platform. Amanda described the need for connection, inclusivity, and communication when it came to meeting new people online. A safer place to be yourself, express your identity, and openly show your intentions. After our conver