Sitting here on my balcony in Barcelona after a wonderful experience with a toy, its hard to believe that there was a time my writing could probably get me arrested. Its hard to believe that a sexually expressive female can be perceived as wrong in this society, and that our sexuality is not celebrated.
I have always loved sexuality: the learning of connection, pleasure, and empowerment. I have a very strong and liberal support system, which has encouraged me to follow my dreams in regards to studying sex, sexual health, and promoting positive sexuality for all.
We ARE SEXUAL BEINGS
All humans, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, have sexual urges, sexual thoughts, sexual needs and wants. We have incredibly vast and complex sexual capabilities, superpowers if you will. It is essential to our health, mental health, and relationships to have a strong grip on our sexuality and our perceptions of ourselves. Yet, we are confined by either gender norms or stereotypes as to whats okay, and what is not. As a young female, being sexually open is considered a terrifying taboo. So in my case, why put myself out there and be vulnerable? Why openly promote my personal experiences and promote openly discussing sex?
Being sex positive means I have reclaimed my sexuality, free of anyones opinion, and have let it flourish. I make sure my relationship with myself is strong, and put self pleasure as a staple to my self care. My sexual relationships are clear in communication, wildly satisfying, and free of shame or judgment. I am confident in myself when I do not have a partner, or when I have many partners- since my self worth is not in any way associated with my sexuality. I see my sexual function as part of my health, and I hold no shame around my fantasies, genitals, or what sexual acts satisfy me. I am a proud sex toy owner, since they only add onto the absolute delight that is my pleasure- is that too much to take in?
Being sex positive means I am open and accepting to others sexualities, and support others in their personal journeys. I openly support women and mens sexual rights and protections, as well as sex workers rights. I vouch to have basic sexual health care like pap smears, STD screenings, family planning, sex education, ect. to be readily available in society since it shouldn’t be avoided due to stigma. My goal, as a future sex educator or working in the sexuality field, is to empower people to also reclaim their sexuality and live an incredibly satisfying life. I aim to make talking about sex fun, exciting, and educational: to break down the stigma that we shouldn’t have pleasure.
If any part of those paragraphs made you uncomfortable or made you feel shame, then you are a perfect example of societies problem with wanting to silence and negate a person of their pleasure and capabilities. Many people I know would hold embarrassment and deep rooted discomfort in being open and confident in who they are sexually, and I hope to change that.
Although many disagree with me, sex and sexuality are not taboos: it is one of the most normal parts of life. I'm here to say I'm proud to be a sex positive female, and I'm proud to share my personal experience and knowledge to the world. Not just for myself, but for everybody I get to help: all your messages, emails, and words of support do not go unnoticed. It warms my heart that my very small blog has been able to make people feel proud of their sexuality, their bodies, and open up their sex life in a way they didn’t know was possible.
The change starts with us, it starts with small actions and big actions. It starts with spreading words of kindness, and leading by example. Not everyone is willing to openly talk about this subject, so I have no problem in putting myself out there to hopefully be relatable and inspire others to be authentically themselves. Every single one of you matters, and so do your sexual journeys throughout your lifetime- pay close attention to the way you treat yourself, and how you feel about yourself. I am so happy to have you all here!