giving good head- a play by play
So, earlier in the month we started the discussion of giving oral head to your vagina owning partner- it can be daunting, and totally valid if you don't know what you're doing. I have found that in my life, I have always gained insight and knowledge by learning from others and listening to their stories and techniques. So.. you may ask: How can you give us a good play by play or scenario to go by? Many of us wish giving head came with an instruction manual, but it doesn't.
My best idea was to ask my partner who gives the absolute best head for his recommendation.
Who is that partner? Well, its my ex husband.
Nicholas, now my dear best friend and number one blog supported was kind enough to chime in on this topic, and share with you techniques that I consider to be absolute gold. Never in my life have I came from just someone else's actions until this lovely man blessed me with his mouth. While it is important to note that there is no right or wrong way to perform oral, this does give a really good idea of how to communicate and navigate around your girl's nether regions- and this description is thorough.
Without further ado, Nicholas:
"When providing oral sex or as we say “going down” on your partner. It is extremely important to take your time working your way down there. Really allowing your girl to get comfortable and relaxed which also sets the correct vibe. Just because you’re engaging in sexual activity doesn’t mean your partner is fully comfortable or relaxed.
Getting her to this point is what separates good head from shitty head. Because let’s be honest: we’ve all had shitty head before and you don’t wanna be the one dishing it out.
Start with kissing and at this time start working your hands around her body, engaging difference senses. I personally love ear play and most women do as well so that’s usually where I head next. Working my way down on to the neck with kissing and light biting all while still engaging with my hands but now I’m making my way down to her vagina with light rubbing around the outside of the lips, just between her thighs. I use this as kind of a tease which causes her to want it more.
Next I work my way to her nipples again with kissing, sucking and light biting all while still engaging with my hands, but now I’ve started working on her clit with a STEADY CIRCULAR MOTION.
Don’t be playing with it all fast and recklessly, its not a damn guitar pick. 95% of women hate this so don’t be that guy.
Also pro tip: Don’t favor one breast. She got 2 for a reason.
Now, still taking my time I start making my way down kissing her stomach and I’ll throw in some solid eye contact as I work my way down further and further, they love this btw so do it.
Finally we have reached our destination, her vagina. (Que fireworks) I like to begin with kissing around the vulva again creating a sort of tease like sensation that will make them wanna grab your head and force you into position. I then proceed to start kissing the clit also applying my tongue with each kiss and until finally I start using my tongue only.
This next step is extremely important. I like to split her lips open so the clit is really exposed and I’ll start with long tongue strokes. Really be sure to use as much of your tongue as possible not just the tip of it. Start with the very back of the tongue and work your way down. I will then begin to speed up from tongue strokes but being sure to still use as much of my tongue as possible.
After about 5 minutes of this I will then begin to insert a finger into her vagina. Really focusing on hit her G spot. When putting fingers in I do 1 to 2 max. Don’t be trying to see how many you can fit in there. More isn’t better, this usually cause discomfort and will throw the whole vibes. This finger tongue combo will make her melt if do correctly I promise. Start slow and gradually get faster and faster while still maintaining a good solid rhythm. RHYTHM is everything for an orgasm.
Also another really good trick for getting good clit exposure is push up on the area right above it and this will cause it to stick out on the surface and allow you to really get good contact.
I like to perform oral for usually about 15-20 minutes and during this time I can usually get 2-4 orgasms out of her. You ain’t gonna get anything done in 5 minutes so put in the time and I promise you it’ll pay off.
Key points to remember is long tongue strokes with good finger rhythm. Don’t forget to make eye contact as much as you can this will really hype up the connection. Also ASK QUESTIONS. We’re the masters of jerking off so obviously she’s is very familiar with how her body works and will guide you into what really sets her off. This will make for an amazing experience for both of you. "
Thank you so much for your contribution in and out of the bedroom Nick!