Beginners rope Bondage 101


*This is for beginners, and I write on the assumption that those reading may have never tried any form of bondage. Thank you!

When we think of bondage, one of the first things that may come to mind is being tied up and restrained with ropes- it can range from a simple wrist restraint, to full body ties and hanging, such as the Japanese rope tying art called Shibari (I just had my first experience with this, absolutely amazing). 


When couples see more advanced forms of bondage, they may be put off because it may not be what they want to try. The good news is that you can still incorporate bondage into your sex life in very vanilla ways, or experiment with very basic rope ties. Rope bondage can be enticing since it is a form of power play as well- you are giving power to whoever is restraining you- consensually of course. Having any element taken away from you during a sexual encounter can heighten your experience- and the mystery of what your partner will do next with you… The best! What I love about rope bondage specifically is that the ropes can create added sensations, specifically the squeezing around the wrists, breasts, or there are certain ties that can be done to hit the clitoris directly (more advanced).

Bringing it up to your partner


It is very common to feel intimidated bringing up new things to partners, especially if it has to do with BDSM. BDSM, for those who aren't educated, can hold a negative connotation. It is much more common than you think, and you definitely don't need to wear latex or own whips and chains (but it is exciting).


Just like anything new in the bedroom, I always feel it is best to have a light hearted conversation before hand. For example, always compliment what your partner is doing well in- and then suggest something new you would like to try with them. It really is as simple as saying “Babe, we have absolutely amazing sex and I would love to try something new with you, would you be open to considering tying my hands behind my back? What are your thoughts on that?” Listen to what they have to say, and throw in some suggestions on how you can incorporate it into your next session: “We can buy silk ropes, or you can tie my wrists together with my panties”, “I would love to tie you to the bed and pleasure you”. See? Sometimes we may get shy in asking for our desires, but quite frankly its a nice way to spark open conversation…. and hormones. 


Safety First

Keep in mind that as with anything in BDSM, it is done on the basis of consent and trust. Even in the simplest of tying or binding, you should always check up on your partner to make sure they feel safe and are experiencing pleasure from it. With basic rope bondage, there are a few precautions to take.

  1. Do not cut circulation, make sure you can always fit a finger or two underneath the ties you are making. This way, your partner is delightfully restrained, and not getting hurt!

  2. In my opinion, you should never do any bondage tie that would compromise your neck area, for very logical reasons. 

  3. Do not leave your partner unattended while tied up- this is a trusting act you are doing together, and they should feel safe at all times!

  4. Keep scissors with you at all times incase you can't undo a knot, or your partner would like to be let free quickly.

Start off Simple



If you or your partner seem a little skeptical about bondage, or aren’t ready to get actual ropes- have no fear! You can practice bondage with some at home basics. My favorite, and most convenient, is bonding together the wrists or ankles with a tied pair of panties or a scarf. What also works well is using a tie. Now, you can obviously get out of this and you’re not literally “restrained” which is awesome for beginners. This lets you take a feel of what is like to be restrained, what positions are comfortable for you, and if this power play works for you and your partner. If you have shoelaces, you can consider lightly tying those around your partners wrists, and attaching the other ends to a chair, bed post, wherever you want! This is so exciting since your partner can then give you pleasure, without expecting anything in return. 


So you want ropes


If you’re just starting out, you can consider buying soft cotton ropes or silk ropes from your local hardware store or craft store. Get a rope thats at least 5mm in diameter (the thinner it is the more pressure and damage it can cause), and you’ll need about 15-30 Feet of it. You can get basic rope at Michaels Craft Store, or look into something a bit fancier like this one from Spectrum Boutique.

Where to tie, and how:

I've compiled 4 of my favorite ties that you can simply do, and there is a youtube video to show you how- They are hyperlinked to each photo!

The Wrists


The wrist are the most common, and I usually find this to be the most comfortable- besides, if you can’t use your hands then your partner is up to good things! Have your partner put their hands behind their back comfortably, or directly in front of them- click on the photo for a tutorial!

Chest Harness


Now.. I love me a good chest harness for two reasons: control and feeling! The squeezing alongside the breasts can be very satisfying, and the back and front portion can serve as a spot for your partner to pull you around and position you. This tutorial is super basic, and it also looks incredibly sexy! It can be done on anyone. Click on photo for a tutorial!

Ankles to Thighs

Open Wide *wink wink* 🙂 Now, this tie is for those who really want to give their partner pleasure. This is restraining the the ankles to your thighs, making it so you can’t straighten either of your legs. This is one of the sexiest yet simple ties, and all you can do is accept the pleasure your partner will be giving! This would be the perfect time to use your vibrator on your partner, or give an incredible blow job! Click on picture for tutorial!







Single Column Tie

The reason the single column tie is important is so you can do this on someone’s wrist or ankles individually, say if you’re tying them to a bed! This could be more comfortably for someone who doesn’t have very good shoulder flexibility, and allows for more movement. Better yet? Don’t tie the ends of the rope to anything, hold them and pull into positions you both love.

BONUS

Okay, if you guys want to get a little wild, I found this tutorial that I ADORE, looks fancy, and can obviously be a good tool for your partner to push and pull during sex. This is also extremely stimulating for the genitals as you are restricting a small amount of blood flow:)



Have fun out there, let me know how it goes!

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