• Julieta Chiara

A Gay Best Friend's Guide to Amazing Anal

Anal, anal, anal… did I say anal?

Anal sex isn’t something we don’t talk about in public anymore, in fact I love how casually it has finally become. I remember being younger and seeing anal as something I had to be quiet about when expressing my own experience. I saw anal as the next level, the next sacred step in a sexual relationship- when honestly, it is just another form of sex. 

While many would never consider trying anal, they would be surprised to know that it is actually one of the most sensitive sexual areas in your body- that can bring you next level bliss under the right circumstances. My problem with anal is that porn has made it seem as some easy thing that you can do whenever, some sort of anal on command.

I am here to tell you, there is no such thing as good anal on command. 

Porn doesn’t show you cleaning practices, foreplay to warm you up, relaxation techniques, body movements, aftercare, etc. Good anal is conscious, healthy, and prepared anal- so what is the best way to teach this to my lovely readers?

In honor of Pride Month, I interviewed one of my gay best friends, Mason Emery. 

“Sex is a beautiful thing, why rush it”, Mason said to me as we talked about all things anal in a very small, quiet coffee shop. It’s true, sex is a beautiful thing- and anal requires the upmost patience and technique in order to get it right. I have known Mason for just about my entire adult life, and I would dare call him a twin flame considering our incredible similarities and passions towards sex. 

As a straight woman who has had plenty of anal, I still feel like there is so much to learn. When it comes to anal, the act itself is not exclusive to the gay community- everyone, literally everyone, can enjoy anal play. As I said before, porn has done everyone, especially women, the disservice of portraying anal as something quick and easy to do. Good anal takes time, preparation, and incredible amounts of lube. 

First Step: Cleaning out

Cleaning out involves cleansing your rectum, or the first initial part of your large intestine when passing your anal sphincter. The most common, and healthy way to do this is by simply doing a water enema. When I was an anal newb, I was a complete dumbass and gave myself an actual enema- leaving my digestive track pretty fucked up for a couple days- DO NOT DO A REAL ENEMA. 

Mason’s favorite cleaning recommendation actually works a dual purpose, getting you warmed up for anal at the same time as cleaning. I love that he expressed the cleaning process as a process of getting to know your body, and starting to get comfortable with handling your own ass. Mason likes to cleanse by using raw coconut oil: “Get a chunk of coconut oil, insert, let it dissolve, and push it out- a great beginners to anal stimulation since your are learning to handle your body. Also, preps the area to smell and taste like coconuts”.

I agree with Mason, a crucial first step to anal is knowing how to touch yourself comfortably- and the cleaning process does just that. Alongside his method, one of the most common methods people use is a water enema.

There are a myriad of products you can buy to give yourself a water enema, but Mason recommends using a baby nasal pump. Filling the pump up with warm water, you can comfortably stand in the shower or sit on the toilet, gently slip in the applicator, and slowly release the water inside of yourself. Hold for a few seconds, and then release- repeat this process until there is no more feces in the release process. Baby nasal pumps act as comfortable applicators, and also don’t overshoot water into your bowels. When you shoot water too far deep into your bowels, you can actually stimulate them more vs clean out your rectum.

When you finally start passing fully clear water, congratulations! You are ready for some wholesome anal play. 

Lubrication & Safety 

I cannot express enough how important using lubricant is for anal. Your rectum does not create lubrication, and the skin around the anus (as well as your rectal tissue) is incredibly sensitive and prone to injury. I like to keep a bottle handy, because you will need to apply lubricant more than once to keep things comfortable, slippery, and fun. Try out Uberlube for a silicone based, or Intimate Earth's Antibacterial Anal lube for a water base from Medamour! To keep yourself extra lubricated, use a lube launcher to apply lube on deep into the rectum as well.